Me from the inside out

It seemed interesting to look at some recent MRI films of my head and neck. I have vein problems on my left side and the doctors keep their eyes on things in case my left carotid artery completely closes. So...I took the handy CD they gave me and looked myself over. It look pretty good on the inside. It's interesting that the lines and wrinkles we see on the outside aren't visable on the inside. I like that. I'm also thin enough to like my silhouette more than actual pictures of myself.

I've never been a big fan of photographs of myself - drives my family nuts - in fact where other people have these nice smiling pictures of themselves on Facebook or their blogs I use avitars of what I think I look like. I really don't think I'm vain. I just think I'm ugly and age is killing what looks I had left. Looking old is growing on me but I wish I could just get it over with and look 80. No one expects an 80 year old to look any certain way - they're just amazed they're alive and talking in complete sentences. The phase between 60-80 years is equivolent to that dead zone we feel in our 20's. Not a teenager and not really an adult.

I sound so dismal about it and really I am not. My husband is going through the same thing. He's lost most of his hair and goes on and on about it. I wish he's just shave his head and get it over with. With or without hair he's handsome to me. Looking at old pictures of him with hair I have the feeling he wouldn't know what to do with it if he had it. Just accept things as they are and focus on the important things. Making the world better, saving the environment, loving your family - the people who don't care how you look, after all - and hope you leave a legacy of love, warmth and good memories behind. wrinkles be damned.